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What is Adoptee Remembrance Day? 

Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th serves as a beacon of awareness, remembrance, and solidarity. It is a day that brings to light the often-overlooked crimes committed against adoptees by their adoptive parents—atrocities that are seldom recognized by the media. This day offers us a sacred space to mourn and honor the lives of our brothers and sisters who have tragically been lost, ensuring they are never forgotten. Through this collective act of remembrance, we confront the harsh reality of adoptee suicide, shedding light on a topic that is difficult yet essential to address. In doing so, we express profound love and respect for the adoptee community, reminding the world that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends, and lovers.

Adoptee Remembrance Day also provides a platform for our allies to stand with us, to memorialize those who have died too soon, and to acknowledge the profound loss all adoptees experience, even before they are adopted. It is a day that underscores the need to recognize and address the lifelong impact of adoption-related trauma.

Tragically, the number of adoptees murdered by their adoptive parents is on the rise globally. Adoptee Remembrance Day is a time to honor their legacy by dedicating a day to their memory. While those who have passed are no longer able to share their stories, many adoptees today are courageously stepping forward to speak for the voiceless. We are the voice of the voiceless, carrying forward their stories and struggles.

We also stand in solidarity with international adoptees who live without citizenship and those who have been deported due to the failures of adoptive parents, adoption agencies, attorneys, and the broader U.S. adoption system. Many of these adoptees have endured abuse and neglect, including issues related to their citizenship, at the hands of their adoptive parents. We honor those who did not survive or are struggling to survive their deportations to countries they left as children—countries where they have no support network and limited access to essential services like mental health care, food, clothing, and shelter. The lack of citizenship is a tragic and often overlooked issue within the adoptee community, and we encourage you to visit Adoptees for Justice to learn more.

We also recognize the survivors of the Troubled Teen Industry (TTI) within our community. These adoptees, who were subjected to abusive environments under the guise of treatment, have endured unimaginable pain. Adoptee Remembrance Day shines a light on their stories, acknowledging the additional layers of trauma they have faced. By including the voices of TTI survivors, we emphasize the importance of bringing every aspect of the adoptee experience into the light, ensuring no one is left behind.

This day also recognizes the countless adoptees who have been incarcerated, those left in mental health facilities, and the many who struggle with substance abuse. These issues are deeply intertwined with the trauma of adoption and are often hidden from view. Incarcerated adoptees face a justice system that frequently fails to understand the complexities of their experiences. Adoptees left in mental health facilities often suffer in silence, their struggles dismissed or misunderstood. The battle with substance abuse is a reality for many adoptees who turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with the unresolved pain of their past. Adoptee Remembrance Day calls attention to these critical issues, advocating for better understanding, support, and treatment for adoptees facing these challenges.

We aim to spark conversations about the adoptees who did not make it—those whose memories are lost, never to be found. What about the adoptees who have not yet found a community of their own? What about those who have not made it to the other side of healing, or those for whom healing may never be possible? What if you lost an adoptee? Does grieving last forever?

Adoptee Remembrance Day honors all adoptees who were stolen as babies from their families, communities, and countries around the world. It is a day to acknowledge the devastating losses they endured—their identities, names, languages, cultures, and the sacred bond with their mothers and kin. These are not isolated stories but a global reality of systemic separation and human rights violations that have shattered countless lives. On this day, we stand in truth and remembrance, giving voice to those silenced by the adoption system and honoring the babies who grew into adults still carrying the weight of being taken, stolen, and sold.

Relinquishment and Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) are the legal and social entry points that open the door to adoption, but they each carry different realities. Relinquishment suggests that a biological mother “gave up” her child, yet this term often hides the layers of coercion, manipulation, and lack of true choice that many mothers faced. In contrast, countless other babies were stolen outright—taken without consent, trafficked, or sold under false pretenses—and these experiences cannot be described as relinquishment at all. Adoptee Remembrance Day recognizes all of these beginnings as rooted in separation trauma—the primal wound that occurs when a baby is separated from their mother, regardless of circumstance or age. This trauma exists even when it is not followed by adoption, and it lives within the body and spirit long after the legal paperwork is signed. Whether through relinquishment, TPR, or abduction, the result is the same: an irreversible separation that reshapes a human life from its very first breath.

While our primary goal is to uplift the legacy of those who are no longer with us, we also seek to share the truth of how adoption has impacted each of us. October 30th is our day of truth, transparency, and remembrance—a day for adoptees around the world to come together and be seen. It is also a day to remember the heartbreaking loss that all adoptees experience, a loss that deserves acknowledgment. We must recognize that all adoptions begin with profound, multi-layered loss.

This day is also for the families and friends who have lost a loved one to adoption. Perhaps you are searching for them but cannot find them, or maybe you had an open adoption that was suddenly closed. Perhaps you are a birth parent who lost a child to adoption. We see you. This day is for you, too.

Whether you are an adoptee, an adoptive parent, a biological parent, a friend, or a sibling of an adoptee, you are invited to participate in Adoptee Remembrance Day. Together, we are creating a day—October 30th—that highlights these critical issues and sparks much-needed conversations about the adoptee experience as told by those who have lived it.

This is what Adoptee Remembrance Day is all about.

Things you can do to for Adoptee Remembrance Day

Wear YELLOW – We’re dedicating the color YELLOW to this day as a way to honor those adoptees we’ve lost. Please consider wearing yellow to honor them. Spark conversations why you are wearing yellow in your workplace, home and among friends & family. 

Use Hashtags – We’re using hashtags #adopteeremembranceday and #adopteesweremember #ard2025 so please share all photos, articles, poems, online using this hashtag so we can share with our community. 

Read Adoptee Books – Read adoptee centric books, The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools, Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth, You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are: An Adoptee’s Journey Through The American Adoption Experience You can find a comprehensive list of adoptee centric books at Adoptee Reading. Share which book you are reading on October 30th. 

A Moment of Silence – Pause for 4 minutes of silence to reflect, honor, and remember our fellow adoptees who didn’t survive adoption at 12:00PM EST on October 30th. (Adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide than non-adopted individuals)  

Keep Memories Alive – Keep memories alive & write a paragraph, poem, art, or short story with a photo and tribute about the special adoptee you know who didn’t survive adoption or an adoptee who’s incarcerated. Paint a memory rock, decorating it with your loved one’s name, favorite thing, or quote. Tag us on our Facebook on October 30th in their honor.

Wear a Yellow Flower—Wear a yellow flower and spark conversations about what it represents in your work, home, and with friends and family. 

Share A Tribute – Share a paragraph with your photo if you’re an adoptee who would like to share a tribute to honor the lost adoptees and/or all you have lost in adoption.  Tag our Facebook & Instagram pages.

Have A Ceremonial Bonfire– Gather in person with others who support Adoptee Remembrance Day, and at dusk, light a bonfire in memory of the lost adoptees and all that’s lost in adoption. Everyone can receive a piece of paper on which to write the message they would like to share. They can read them together or keep them private. Then, they can take turns placing their messages into the fire. As the notes burn, the rising flames and the sparks spiraling upward will offer the effects of sending the messages to the heavens.

Events – Schedule and dedicate an event on Facebook for a walk, hike,  dinner, lunch, or sit in the park on October 30th in your community or with your Adoptees Connect group or others as a way to honor those who didn’t survive adoption and to recognize adoption loss. Do you have a special place or a reminder of someone you lost to adoption? Visit this place and set aside some time to remember your loved one. Be sure to tag our official Adoptee Remembrance Day – Oct 30th  page on Facebook, as well as post your events in our events on our Facebook page. 

Tribute Donations—Make a tribute donation or start a fundraiser for Adoptees Connect, Inc., to honor the memory of a loved one who didn’t survive adoption. The more in-person groups we plant, the less isolation and loneliness adoptees will feel, which is directly impacting adoptees all over the world. 

Make a Meme—Create a viral memorial meme in honor of any adoptees who didn’t survive adoption. Share it on October 30th in their memory. Tag our Facebook and Instagram pages.

Write a Song—Write and record a song dedicated to the remembrance of the adoptees who didn’t survive adoption and the adoptee loss experience. Tag our Facebook page.

Write an Article—Consider writing an article about adoptees who didn’t survive adoption or those who died at the hands of their adopters. How has this impacted you and the world of adoption? Tag us, and we will share it on our Facebook page on October 30th.

 Candle-lite Remembrance—Shine a light or a candle on October 30th, which we feel would be a powerful way to remember adoptees who didn’t survive adoption and recognize that adoption begins with loss. When multiple people are involved in the lighting, it can be a powerful recognition, but being alone works just as well. Tag us so we can share.

Living Reminders – Create a living reminder like planting a flower, a tree, or an entire garden in memory of adoptees who didn’t survive adoption and acknowledging loss in adoption. Pick up some yellow flowers from the store. 

Memorial Video – Create a memorial video dedicated to all of our lost brothers and sisters in adoption sharing your voice advocating for change in adoption policies and practices today. Tag us so we can share. 

Blow Bubbles – Instead of releasing balloons, blow bubbles. One person blowing bubbles is fun, but get a group together all blowing bubbles, and you can create a magical experience. For even more impact, add a few giant bubble wands to the mix.

Float flowers – Choose locally-grown flowers rather than imported ones. Friends & Family can drop the flowers into the water from the shore or from a boat in memory and remembrance of the adoptee’s loss & suicide. Add an extra layer of meaning by writing notes to our loved ones on quick-dissolve paper (such as rice paper), and releasing the notes into the water along with the flowers. They’ll float along for a bit before harmlessly dissolving. To be truly Eco-friendly, you should use fully biodegradable ink, such as ink made from algae, to write the messages.

Write in the Sand—Take a stick and write in the wet sand on the shore of a lake, river, or ocean. This can be a part of a larger remembrance service or private. Anyone who attends can write their words of love to the departed and all that’s lost in adoption. The waves will wash them away, symbolically sending the message along.

Be Creative – Start a new tradition on October 30th for Adoptee Remembrance Day. Express how you have been advocating for change in adoption by sharing your voice on how adoption has impacted you. Share why this day is important to you. Encourage friends, family, and loved ones to do the same. 

Alone Time—Have a moment of alone time, which can signify a special moment of recognizing the adoptee’s loss.

Family-Friendly: Make it a family affair. Explain the importance of recognizing this day, honoring it, and remembering it with your family. 

Spread the Word—Invite as many people as possible to follow our Facebook page and share our events, inviting everyone you know. The more people learn about this day, the more they will begin to recognize the many layers of adoption that society as a whole does not recognize.

RSVP to our Facebook event if you plan on participating in Adoptee Remembrance Day.

Don’t forget to invite your friends & family. 

Please don’t release balloons into the environment. Click here to learn why this is terrible for our environment. We have plenty of Eco-friendly options listed here. Please choose them over polluting the environment.  

There’s no rule that says you can only remember or memorialize someone or something in one way. Feel free to use multiple suggestions above as you see fit or create something new. 

A few things to remember: 

• To keep everyone safe, please refrain from mentioning the method used by your loved one to end their life.
• You don’t have to be adopted to recognize Adoptee Remembrance Day. We recognize that many people are impacted by adoption each year. We encourage you to get involved no matter which part of the adoption constellation you might or might not be a part of. Your support means everything to the adoptee community. 
• We have a main Facebook page for this day, and we have Instagram. Our main Adoptee Remembrance Day page will be sharing all posts we are tagged in, so make sure to tag us on October 30th. We will also share as many posts that use hashtags #adopteeremembranceday, #ard, #ard2025 #adopteesweremember, as well as share as many as possible on our Adoptees Connect, Inc. Instagram & Twitter. 

Thank you for your support and understanding in these matters. 

INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS DAY. THAT ONE INVITE COULD CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE FOREVER.

Adoptees Connect, Inc.   

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